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Friday, June 17, 2011

There is nothing SUPER easy about walking in your purpose.

If you have dealt with ANYTHING, you have been fighting to find your identity and fighting to find your voice...and fighting to walk in your purpose. 

It all comes with a price, and a price most of you will not pay because "it is too hard". 

I keep paying the price every day.
Every week.
I keep moving forward despite all battles I'm facing.
When you KNOW who you are and more to the point, your will have to do some fighting.

A majority of my battles are very internal.
But once I reach out and really talk to someone, talk to God, talk to my husband about some things...I get a sense of accountability and motivation to keep going.  I feel very refreshed today, and not as stressed or worried.

I'm not going to sit here and say I'm happy-go-lucky every day of my life. 
To be honest, I get ticked off when people say "oh she never complains, she was ALWAYS this and ALWAYS that"...It is just not true.  Sure our grandmas and grandpas are like that NOW, but we ALL have fallen short...and be ok with that.
I just do not think it is realistic to paint this PERFECT life and this PERFECT person, because then we spend a lot of time trying to live up to that expectation - rather than living a very real, very open and very HONEST life. :)  THAT is the perfection I look for.  Those wonderful imperfections and weaknesses...where God makes us strong and comes in to help us.  Where we get a chance to change and make an impact in the atmosphere around us.  Oh, the possibilities!

I grew up having a picture painted for me.  (letz face it, most artists do have great imaginations) ...
But that picture was a lie and a false reality.
I'm still digging out the false realities of my life.
Digging into how God created me, who I truly am (not what someone else says)....
Digging into the things that hold me back and cause me to not be me.

Just get real, stop pretending. 
If you ever catch me saying something about myself that you know isn't true? Why not just call me on it every once in a while.  I fall into the same traps as most - thinking negatively about myself, or maybe painting a false reality of someone i "think" i am, versus my true actions.  These are the things i'm working on.  Doing what I say, and saying what I do.  I hope they match up one day.  I hope to keep staying true to my doing v. my saying.  If actions speak louder than words, then I hope that my future actions will continue to grow, perfect and become all who I am supposed to be.

I don't want to be afraid anymore.
I want to step out and be bolder and wiser.
I want to encourage others that need it.
I want to bring something to the table that NO ONE else can.

herez to becoming a REIGN maker.
and an image maker.

Letz grow.

Love Jen

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